i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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