he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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