I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
