I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
