Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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