im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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