i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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