My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
