You can't motorboat a personality
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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