Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
