I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It's blow job season.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Randomize
