Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
