idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
