youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
