It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
