You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
