I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
