If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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