Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
