Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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