He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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