What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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