Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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