maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
did i walk over a car last night?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
