Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
