Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
