I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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