Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Sorry about my life...
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
