Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
