I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
