I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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