and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
