So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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