She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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