She is in my trunk
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
