I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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