Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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