Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We were destined to go to rehab together
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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