K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
