at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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