don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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