Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
