Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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