wat bout pragnant strippers??
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize