they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
