I forgot how hot balto sounded
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize