great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
