No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Randomize
