My friends, they love my intelligence
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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