he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
