My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
