Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
