why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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