i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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