now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
