nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
