Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My dick has a subreddit
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
