I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
