i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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