You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize