Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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