this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
