how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
