Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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