I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
