He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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