we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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