I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
ok first of all what the fuck
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
