Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
