So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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