Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
A bitchslap is in order.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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