yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
